I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize