I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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