This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.