someone get that fucking seahorse.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon