I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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