Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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