I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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