doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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