Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
