I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
