Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
