Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
