You work out of a Hotel?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
