Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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