my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
