I should be sponsored by Trojan
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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