ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
