What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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