Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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