I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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