yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
