oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
zippers are such a cool invention
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
