Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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