I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
