$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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