after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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