i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's just like the Real World with babies
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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