Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize