can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
