I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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