I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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