theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
