I'm pants shitting drunk right now
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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