pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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