I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
