What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
