i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she peed on how many people?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
