So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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