Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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