I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize