Just cropdusted the office
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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