and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
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when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
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there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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