and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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