i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
