Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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