I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
