Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
