I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am one with the molecules
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I deserve this hangover.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
