What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
