Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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