last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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