dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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