It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
