Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
