I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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