8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
