jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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