I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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