how can u be prego again
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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