I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
