I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
too bad you live with your parents still
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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