I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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