Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
