i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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