At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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