Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
