I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
