I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
